My current calling is in the Young Women's program. I have 1 Laurel, 2 Beehives, and 13 Mia Maids. Yes, 13 Mia Maids. The bulk of the girls are 14 and 15 years old and they go to four different high schools. And there are three of us referees... I mean leaders.
We have had so much drama in the last couple of months and I would dare say I have had enough to last my entire life time. I do not deal well with drama.
The problem is they are being so mean to each other. This all started about mid-August as they all went back to school. My sweet girls being mean to each other. At times I just sit in our meeting, looking at them, pondering the situation, and wondering how on earth they can be so mean, gossipy, and fickle. Now I know people can be mean and others may just need to get a back bone, but these are 14 year old girls. I truly think the hardest two years of any young woman's life are age 14 and 15. Seriously. Its a make or break time of life. Shopping is in, you have to listen to the right music, wear the right clothes, and popularity is all the rage. If you ask me, I would say, "Who cares?!" Well, its a big deal when girls aren't coming because of the way they are treated when they do come.
So what do you do?
I've asked many different people what they would do in my situation and have spent countless hours praying over this. This is what I have learned.
I have great young women and I love them all very much. When I look at each of them, I can see in them so much potential. These are outstanding young women. I see the talents they have, the traits they can share with others, I see their testimonies, and I also see many insecurities.
So why is this not working?
In all my conversations, one in particular struck me the hardest. These girls are nit-picking each other, degrading each other, and finding reasons not to like each other. That is what they have learned to do! My challenge then as their leader is to teach them and guide them to look for the good in the other young women. Never before has the phrase "What you look for, you will see" meant so much to me. These girls are looking for negatives in other people, and they are seeing it.
Now I know how to remedy the situation.
Its all about coming up ideas and activities that help them see good things in each other. We are going to do a compliment box on Sundays where they pull a piece of paper out of a box. On the piece of paper is another girl's name. They write a sincere compliment on it and put it back in the box. Then, I pull the paper out, have the girl stand up, and read the compliment. It has been very well received. A little plug: any other ideas you can add?
The moral of the story is this. You see what you look for in people. Everyone we meet has good things to offer and everyone we meet has shortcomings. And thank goodness for that because I would not want a million different "Me's" running around. I have learned so much about myself and the kind of woman I want to be from this experience. If you want to see good in people and look for the good in people, that is what you will see. I love the gospel!
So go out and give some compliments today!
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1 comment:
I read this trouble on your facebook too. I think it is easy to find fault with others to try and make us feel better about ourselves. It is much more difficult, but definitely more worth it, to try and see the good in others. This is a problem that continues long past young womens. I have learned that I am never exempt from being judged harshly. It is important to understand that when we think negatively, we'll always have a raincloud. However, if we look for the positive in others, we will be pleasantly surprised at all the good we can find about them and it makes them feel good too, which makes us feel better. Good luck.
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